Two Point Hospital
Two Point Radio is the station that plays in your hospital during gameplay. Disc Jockeys Harrison Wolfe - Your night time, tired radio host. * I don't know what my time travelling future self is up to, but my arm just disappeared. * I went to the Cirque du Parfait recently. I was impressed by how experimental the acts were, 'til I realised I was facing the wrong way and just looking at the tent wall. Sir Nigel Bickleworth ''' Music * '''Night Ward - Not My Cousin * Samba de Medicana - Flemington La * Come On Over - What? Where? * Bassinets - Jorge & The Deuce * Water Wednesdays - Chicken Butter * Miami Swing - Cuticle Karate * On Call - Lindy-Sue and The Staircase Gang * Sundries - J-U-L-I-A * Midnight Blue - Project Vineyard * Remedy Hill - Two with Mustard * Recover & Regain - Puffin Pot * The Gamble Man - Blueberry Longhorn * The Waiting Room - Speaking Faces * Wet Laundry - Egg and Terracotta Soldiers * Gomer - Book Smell * The Last Dose - Postal Consomething?? CITATION NEEDED Adverts * Briney Brittle is a yummy salty snack that makes you really thirsty! The taste of the sea right in your mouth! * The Four Freddies, Barbershop Quartet Tannoy Informs you of where staff are needed etc. Announcement Quotes * 'Persons found taking up bench space with unorthodox sitting methods, will be asked to leave or stand.' * 'In the event of a fire, please leave the building.' * 'Patients are reminded not to be sick.' * 'To the owner of the blueish car. Your car is being taken for crushing. That's a blueish car for crushing. Thank you.' * 'Please be aware. Not being aware, costs lives.' * 'Announcement! Pretending your doctor is better than they are, may aid recovery.' * 'We hope you've enjoyed your stay, but not so much that you don't leave...please, eventually leave.' * 'If anyone has seen my pen. Please, return my pen. Thank you.' * 'Patients asking about our safety measures are kindly asked, not to.' * 'Staff reminded not to laugh at patients, whilst they are present. Thank you.' * 'Staff facilities are out of bounds for all patients and some staff. Thank you.' * 'Attention! Will all visitors please talk silently.' * 'Please be vigilant.' * 'Unattended patients may be removed and destroyed.' * 'Attention! Please lower your expectations.' * 'Staff are reminded to get back to work.' * 'Don't interact with other patients, you don't know where they've been.' * 'May we request that all our patients kindly get out.' * 'Doctor-Patient confidentiality is not practised in this hospital.' * 'Lost and found report: ham sandwich, partially eaten.' * 'We are sorry for the litter you dropped on our floor.' * 'To all patients with no money, you are now discharged.' * 'Patients are reminded that this is a workplace, not a theme park.' * 'Don't forget, tip your doctor.' * 'Players are reminded to stay hydrated.' * 'Those unable to find the hospital will not be considered patients.' * 'Please respect the hospital grounds, no unauthorised digging.' * 'Announcement! Try not to die.' * 'Please look out for invisible and potentially lethal diseases.' * 'Register your body for compost a patient today, help the grass be greener from the other side.' * 'Cured Patients should leave the hospital before they catch something else.' * 'In the event of an epidemic please try not to panic.' * 'Some patients should be ashamed of their condition, you know who you are.' * 'Announcement! It's happening again.' * 'No Sleeping in the corridors.' * 'If you see anything suspicious, please investigate further.' * 'Have a snack, we'll be right back.' * 'Unattended bags will be taken home by staff.' * 'No money, no treatment.' * 'Any suspicious objects should be poked with a special stick.' * 'Patients are reminded not to believe in ghosts.' * 'In case of staff shortage please contact a member of staff.' * 'In the event of an earthquake please stay still.' * 'Patients are reminded to avoid death when possible.' * 'Patients are reminded not to think about it.' * 'Could patients please stop coughing.' Patient Announcement Quotes * 'Patient announcement! Please don't ask how our machines work, as, we are not exactly sure.' Warning Quotes * 'Warning! Those abusing hospital facilities are henceforth to be considered organ donors.' Maintenance Announcement Quotes * 'Maintenance Announcement! Any medical waste should be disposed of immediately.' * 'Maintenance Announcement! Automated snack machines need restocking, manually.' * 'Maintenance Announcement! Plants need water.' * 'Maintenance Announcement! It's better for all of us if toilets are serviced regularly.'